insomnia - it's what's for dinner

I have had the hardest time dragging myself into bed since the split. You know it's bad when internet porn loses its attraction. (It can also be good when it does, like when one has a relationship that creates its own porn. But this case is the exact opposite.)

constant velocity is as natural as being at rest

Someone at CNN realized all this fluff about SpongeBob is ree-god-damned-diculous.

Quick Vote
SpongeBob SquarePants is:
- Promoting the acceptance of homosexuality
- Promoting tolerance and diversity
- Absorbent, yellow and porous

don' chase 'em replace 'em

i have to change more than half of my passwords. They contain her initials.

the depth of the chasm is infinite

wrote down some more patent ideas tonight.
Also did some real intricate work juggling my credit card balances around... pretty proud of that. I can get an actual check to cash from CitiBank at 0%, which I'll cash and send to AmEx which should count towards rewards points... should bring me over 50K points.
The Haunted (swedish metal) is really good.

Definitely depressed. Slow burn of depth. Sleep only brings another day to deal with.

gregory's photographic SHUT THE HELL UP

If you are one of the three people who will ever see this blog and happen to need a wedding photographer and don't mind paying a lot for it, take our date of July 9 2005 in Madison. Gregory's Photographic Arts won't give us our deposit back until someone else rebooks that date. And even then, i imagine we'll have to beat it out of them.

Everything old is... still old

Her life doesn't have to change, her momentum is carrying her now.

For me everything changes, future unseen.

spinBlog is crushing your body

Well, that's over with. Can't really tell how i feel about it now. Everything is so imbued with her presence that it will take a long time to be able to not be reminded of her smile and her beauty. I've already cleared her pictures out of my cubicle, which I'm sure will not go unnoticed by some of my closer peeps here. Everything at home is covered with her presence though so that will be harder. Neither of us know if we're making another huge mistake, or if we're wise and courageous for being able to call a spade a spade. Probably somewhere in between.


Why is 95% of a good thing such a bad thing?

Saw (hed)p.e. last night at the House of Blues in Chicago. They're a pretty good band with a rap-metal vibe that doesn't suck, and even though they seem to have lost one of their guitarists they keep it pretty heavy. Their dj looks like he's been living on the street for a while. The music is good and i like most of what the frontman Jahred is saying, but he did a pretty good job of alienating gays and Christians throughout the show. Enough with the tough-man talk, get on with the music.
Strangest thing was, after the show we were hanging out in the Foundation Room, a kind of vip room at the HOB with Matt, Greg, Sean and his girlfriend of nine months Joanna. As we're winding things up Joanna gets up and leaves in a friendly way, and then sean starts talking about how she didn't include in him in their new year's eve plans. I asked him, "wait a minute. did you just end it with her right now?" He said yes and at my request of Are You Serious, he explained that not only did she not include him in her nye plans - she said he was welcome to come along, but that wasn't cool with him - that after nine months, she still didn't call him her boyfriend, and didn't want him calling her his girlfriend. So, i guess the nye thing was the proverbial straw on the camel, but I've never seen a relationship end so abrubtly and almost unnoticeably.
So, that was the strangest part of the night.
The saddest part of the night was afterwards when I removed the last remaining pieces of gear from matt's house. Ah, how things are changing.

500 Server Error
GFY, Assholes!

I thought Chicago was a happening city! There is nothing really going on in this city more than halfway exciting for New year's. WTF? It's all hotel and club parties with C-List DJs (Any DJs I know excluded of course - they are all world-class). Me and the wifey and a hot friend are going to one of the more pretentious clubs, Rive Gauche, since they have open bar till 4 am for $100.

population reduction grindcore metal

It's really unbelieveable. This has sent shockwaves throughout the entire metal community. I for one am going out to down to Jaeger with some buddies, in memory of Dime. It hasn't gotten any better with the passage of the day - some jaeger can't hurt.

Chad Lee's post about Dime. More great pics.

RIP Dime.

He kicked the ass of every day had, and died doing what he loved.

Damageplan was growing on me - i just saw them three weeks ago. Dime was on the upswing of a second peak.

I can't say anything that hasn't already been said, i'll just say FUCK and make sure to drink some Jaeger tonight for Dimebag.

"Keep rippin'" - Dimebag Darrell

---

dude... are you fucking kidding me... dimebag - i can't even begin to describe this. I've been watching the story unfold here for the last 20 minutes and i just can't believe it. It's not on the teevee and it's buried on the web... but it's real... GAAAAAAAAH!

I don't know, I dont know, FUUUUCK. And here i was about to go to sleep.

Think of how bright this country could be with all of the money we've wasted. It is dark now, there is a pallor hanging over our souls and it is because we have been failed by our leaders. While I think it's best for President-In-Waiting Kerry to lay low for the time being while Chimp implodes, I hope that he can start a positive campaign soon; I can't take too much more of the dreary malfeasance oozing out of our halls of power. A simple, honest, positive message would be so powerful against the Right and their lies, and would help us start our country on a new road to the light.

"When the tyrant has disposed of foreign enemies by conquest or treaty, and there is nothing to fear from them, then his is always stirring up some war or other, in order that the people may require a leader." --Plato

From MightyGirl

"Your style is played-out like a two-toned down goose,
You couldn't Converse if you had fuckin' React juice.
So hold your corner as I hold this mic up in the air,
I'm eatin' through your crew like Stven King's Langoliers."
-- Pfife of Tribe Called Quest on "Motivators"


That is so awesome and makes me laugh every time.

Who wants to bet on the first "Reality" show that will feature a death - possibly by one contestant of another?

Ratings are their god, I wouldn't put it past them.

Ah, yes. The old blog. Thought I'd dust it off and just try to write alittle bit every day or so. I am definitely intimidated by all the great blogs out there, but as I need to teach myself with song writing, I've just got to start and get some momentum, and see where it goes. It'd be nice to have a kind of diary to remind me of my life.
So. Band practice today, didn't go to Transit afterwards. We were hoping to play with a new drummer, but he couldn't make it. Mark has gotten a little better but he just doesn't have the confidence to go much further.
Ok, that's a good start. Let's see how long I keep this up.

Standing before might
brave and True
Knows no one course is right
Peace crushed by metal
In the Dirt of Failed Men's arrogant power

The Bull of fearful power
Deaf to Truth
Surrounded on all sides
It crumbles from the inside

Closed eyes and dead minds
Grasp for Power and Wealth
...When Light breaks through
Power and Wealth will not save you

-- Dedicated to Rachel Corrie, American, 23, crushed by Israeli bulldozer while peacefully protesting against demolition of Palestinian homes